19 Things People Swear They’ll Never Do Until They Have Kids

I had to share this because I think there’s way too much “I would never” parenting judgement going on these days.  Plus, some of these are worth a good snicker.  Now I want Snickers…


#1 Ok, I AM wearing my judgy pants on this one.  I would feel a little ridiculous doing this, not to mention my children have so much energy, I’d end up being drug along behind them.  Maybe I should do it…I could use some sidewalk exfoliation.
#2 Watson makes sleeplessness so sexy…
#3 Let’s just say there’s more of me to love than before I got pregnant with Thing 1.
#4 How’d they get this video of me?
#5 I’m torn on this one.  Social event?  What’s that?
#6 Thing 1 is watching TV right now so I can share my delightful commentary with you.
#7 Well, we’re an Android family, but the idea is the same.  Maintains sanity on car trips and in waiting rooms.
#8 That’s just a dumb thing to claim you’ll never do.
#9 If I didn’t post about my kids, I’d have no Facebook status.  Ponder that.
#10 Put on a bra and real pants, or stay home and relax?  Yeah.  That’s a toughie…
#11 Yeah, that’s like saying you won’t LET a tornado wreak havoc on your home.  Good luck with that.
#12 Ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat!
#13 Touchy subject, but it’s best to admit to yourself from Day 1 that, at some point, your child will think you’re mean.  Might as well take advantage of it.  Just sayin’.
#14 Ok, seriously.  How are they getting these videos of my family?
#15 It’s so much easier to paint your face with an ice cream bar than with tofu.
#16 Um, yeah.  That’s right up there with #8.
#17 Being a parent IS my job.
#18 They summed it up well with “cranky, tantrum-throwing little a-hole”.
#19 I would never.  Now, yoga pants and pj pants?  Oh yeah, I’m guilty.


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